Inspiration, mental health, real life, Spirit and soul, Uncategorized, Writing

The internal monologue

I already know what I’m going to write before I start typing, my internal monologue is a few seconds quicker than my thought process, and has already had the discussion before my fingers hit the keyboard.

It’s annoying when you want to sit there in silence, only for your other voice to say – look at that fly, what’s for dinner, have you done the washing yet… goes on and on and on!

Not everyone has one. But if you are brave enough to step out of your comfort zone, and ask others if they have one, you will be surprised at how many have!

I had some wellbeing support a few years ago, where they talked of the inner critic. Sitting in a group of other people, I never really understood what they were referring to, until I took a step back and thought about those never ending thoughts in my head. Often critical, self-examining and often so very unhelpful! And I have to say – on the odd occasion, quite dark. Of course- they were my inner critic, my inner demon! I like to think there is a balance though. The resilience that I have built up over the years, acting as the words of wisdom. Telling me not to be so stupid, and things will work out, the cake will bake ok or you won’t be late for something.  

I often post links to information from Wikipedia. This particular link is really useful, in as much as it talks about  Negative and Positive self-talk. I’d never thought of it that way. I don’t think it’s been a negative experience to realise this was happening.

But I also don’t think you can ever stop those voices can you? Or do you want to? Sometimes they are soothing, and remind you of the good times, and the success you have had. They help you to think of a way forward, to formulate a plan, to give you courage to step out of your comfort zone and put into words things that have been locked in your heart for a long time.  

Sometimes they just keep saying ‘are we there yet’ like an annoying child on a long journey. We just have to say – not yet, but thank you for your company!

history, Home, Inspiration, Laughter, love, real life, Spirit and soul

Billy Joel

What evokes memories for you? For me its music and songs.

I hear a song, or a particular singer, and it takes me instantly back to a time when those songs were being
played on the radio, or on an old record player. It drags me back to a different time, and often a different kind of life.

I was washing the dishes today, when I thought I would listen to some songs by Billy Joel. For those of us of a certain age, those songs will take you right back to the 70’s & 80’s! His songs were so very innocent, to me at least. All about America and the different types of people who lived there, the Italians, rock and roll and Jazz.

In the early 80’s I shared a house with a group of people from all walks of life. A university student & a guy who was a small time drug dealer amongst other things. A chef and his girlfriend who worked in a restaurant in Putney, South West London- they lived a topsy-turvey life, working evenings, and late into the night. Coming home anywhere between 11 o’clock and midnight. We can’t forget they didn’t have those late night licences and opening hours then.  Neighbours would turn up – and the party would begin -the mad mechanic called Steve and the guy who was an artist and a writer who looked like cat weasel with his wild grey hair and beard and his amazing knitted jumpers, they were the few I remembered! Have you ever tried to sleep when there is a ‘party’ going on? Me neither I’m a very sociable person when I want to be.   Of course it was very bohemian life style – mattresses on the floor, and old leather sofas. The loud music and the ‘cigarettes’ being passed around. They soon got fed up with asking me to partake, I wasn’t interested. Very naïve of me their life style – but I was a 20 year old, not long out of the Welsh valleys.  In fact I have to say I had no idea about that life style.

What a short interesting time in my life that was. We all moved to the YMCA in Surbiton in 1981 after the lease of the house expired. A short life lesson learned for me I know. And as Billy Joel is still playing, it again takes me back to that house where I celebrated my 21st Birthday and learned to appreciate neat Jack Daniels.