I want to say ‘Thank you’ to those of you who have followed me, to those of you who have read my last few blogs. To my family members, friends and colleague I have circulated my link to, and to those seasoned writers who have taken the time to find me and read my outpourings. […]Why I do what I do — patc44’s Blog
Tomorrow we say goodbye to my mother-in-law Maureen. She has been with me through the fun times, through silly times, the sad times of loss and the happy times of marriage and children.
I knew her longer than I knew my own mother. My father in law graciously gave me away at our wedding as I had already lost my dad and my lovely mum. We are a family unit and always will be. I wanted to write something for her funeral to be read out, but didn’t have the courage to do something, so I wrote something for my hubby – her adorable son – to write on the card for her flowers from us.
You will always be my mother and I’ll miss you every day. I’ll miss your disposition and the thoughtful things you say. Your gentle touch and shining eyes will just be a glimpse away. I won’t ever forget you mum - here in my heart each day.
And of course I write this for my mother – who I miss every day.
<a href="http://<span>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@franho?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">Francesca Ho</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/s/photos/yellow-flower?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">Unsplash</a>http://<span>Photo by <a href=”https://unsplash.com/@franho?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText”>Francesca Ho</a> on <a href=”https://unsplash.com/s/photos/yellow-flower?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText”>Unsplash</a></span>
Welcome to the twilight zone. That time when the birds are just waking up, someone has just got up to go to the toilet, and the thoughts of the day penetrate your half dazed brain. The time when that little baby not ½ mile away has just realised its feed time, and is crying for her mum to come and give her some well-deserved sustenance.
I’m not normally awake at this time of the night – sorry morning, but it’s not surprising taking into consideration all that has happened over the last 24 hours. The story about our little humble family has gone viral. Not only has it been taken up by an American organisation who have published it on one of their web sites, but the main news channel BBC News has got hold of it, and has run the story . The 4th most read article today on…
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Oh, the life of the rich people. However, when they pass away, the legal problems of probating the will can be very complex.
According to an article by Alison Boshoff in The Daily Mail website:
Karl Lagerfeld in 2014
Karl Lagerfeld — the titan of Chanel and Fendi — loved nothing more than to create a sensation in life. And, following his death in February 2019, a final scandal has been brewing which once again is captivating the fashion world. At stake is the ‘Kaiser’s’ fortune which is said to stand at £178 million ($224 million US), but may in fact be closer to £400 million (more than $500 million US).
His heirs are now bickering among themselves over who Lagerfeld loved best, and who will therefore be getting the largest slice of the loot. Lagerfeld’s beloved cat, Choupette, may become a very rich kitty as well.
This article has…
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The Wordsmith is a solitary bird
Imagination jumping from rock to boulder
Sadness to sunshine
Reflecting and refracting.
A colourful imagination
And maybe a darker soul.
A quick wit with a slow burn.
Seeing things other see
But in a different language.
How many of us hide a Wordsmith in our heart?
Thinking, writing, re-writing
Paper, scraps or brightly coloured pages.
And pens or stubbly pencils
Or a simple keyboard.
The end is nigh and peace comes.
The jumbled thoughts march,
March in lines across the page.
Uniform only in colour, no rhythm
No rhyme, or regimented and lilting.
Written in private, written for reading
Written for The Wordsmith, or the extended Family.
Does it matter?
It takes two!
The humble Wordsmith and the reader
Read with passion and tears and laughter.
The reader putting soul into the bones of the words.
Enjoy – go forth and share,
Or keep privately in your heart and your head
And in your note book with flowers on the pages.
You will see me on my profile pic
And on my video too.
You’ll see me in the street
At a safe distance from you!
Next week it will be the same
And the week after – I’m sure.
But then I’ll gradually hide away
From you – and you – and you.
It’s not because of anything
That you have decided to do!
It’s me, don’t feel sad
It’s something I have no choice but to do.
The Government have told us
To isolate from you
The shops the cafes
And the hairdressers too!
(Ladies -you can see where this is going can’t you?)
In 12 weeks’ time you won’t know me,
And I won’t know you!
For I’ll be a much greyer version
Of the woman you once knew!
I was signed off sick for a few weeks at the end of last year. Work related stress. The NHS Trust I work for is a Mental Health Trust, and they run courses and classes through their Recovery College. I took advantage of signing up to a Mindfulness course of 6 weeks. We meet in a beautiful building opposite a park – that’s sets the scene for the 2 ½ hours, calm and serenity.
I have to say that on my first session, I felt a little bit of a fraud. The rest of the group had their own story to tell, but I knew they had been on medication, had troubled histories and issues that were still current and plaguing them. I had had a crisis which had taken me away from work for a short period of time – I didn’t feel my problems warranted such support. How wrong could I have been?
Each week we were given the opportunity to try different mindfulness techniques. From simple 3 minute breathing exercises to more intense 30 minute full body scans. Each time for me it became easier to appreciate the opportunity to relax and go to a different place in my head!
And just because I’ve done this 6 weeks of Mindfulness I’m not professing to be an expert. But this is what I’ve taken away from this very useful course.
Be kind to yourself
It is ok not to be ok, but don’t beat yourself up if you’re not. You wouldn’t be mean to a friend who needed help – why be mean to yourself! We put so much energy into helping others – often we forget that we need to invest time in ourselves in the first place to be able to offer that help to others.
Habits can be quickly formed, but with training can be un-learned. We were told that the technical term is ‘Neural pathways’. Something goes wrong, you get into the spiral of self-doubt and anxiety and ruminating over it. By using this knowledge and skills – we could lean to accept this may happen again and avoid this spiralling pathway by taking back control. For me I think this is task I need to get better at. It should probably start by not saying ‘sorry’ each time something isn’t quite right!
We all have an ‘inner critic’.
It’s how we respond to it that sets the scene going forward. We don’t have to listen to them, you wouldn’t listen to a bad TV programme would you? You would use your skills to turn it off and watch something else. Perhaps over time, you realise this inner critical voice may in fact be someone who has criticises you in the past. Allow yourself the knowledge that everyone makes mistakes and can be wrong. But give yourself the opportunity to accept this and learn from it. I know who my inner critic is – someone in my past – who made me afraid and criticised me for lots of little things. He is still there, and is probably the one who I’m always saying sorry to.
Be in the moment – it’s not a bad place to be.
They said children are great at this, they don’t think of yesterday or last week or last year, or tomorrow or next week. They don’t worry over what’s gone before and if they could have done things differently. We are never going to change what happened in our past, but we all have the opportunity to learn from those events, and either do them differently next time, or try and avoid them. The meditation techniques they teach you give you the skills to bring yourself back to the present time. They encourage you to think about your breathing, your body, different sounds and sensation. It’s difficult to think of too many other things while you’re doing this – but my mind has a tendency to wander – and believe me it did – but I brought it back and tried again. My mind is normally all over the place, I’m thinking of lots of things – and you are given the permission to do this – but these are the skills and techniques to stop you from engaging in those thoughts and taking you off down that spiralling path.
Breathing is really important!
Deep regular breathing from your belly allows you to get into a natural rhythm. It helps you to concentrate and centre yourself. If you’re concentrating on this way of breathing it is calming and fills you with oxygen. Combine this with the rhythmic voice of the tutor, or a mindfulness CD it gives you the opportunity to relax, and find some peace from the constant chatter going on!
We have all forgotten how to live in the moment. Well – we like to think we do. We engage with people over social media, on the phone, in the shops and in the work place. But do we ever give ourselves the opportunity to look at our surroundings, the beautiful scenery and nature? Not often, we are too busy rushing from one place to another. We buy ourselves sweet smelling shower gels and toiletries, but are often too busy with our own thoughts to appreciate them. We were encouraged to take some time to carry out daily tasks mindfully. Showering, cleaning out teeth, cleaning, cooking and baking. Concentrating on the task, using all our senses. Every little helps, doesn’t it?
I need to change those bad habits I have and using this process it will be so much easier and 2nd nature.
At the end of the course, I mentioned to one of the others on the group that I had felt a little bit out of place at the start. She said something that I will take with me, that everyone’s problems are their own, and should be equally valued as such. Everyone deserves to be offered as much help and support as anyone else.
I learned something equally as important over these 6 weeks too. Things I do, jumping from one thing to another, following those thoughts in my head can be so annoying to others! I often have 3 conversations going around and need to say them all. But for those who are not party to my minds way of working- it can be pretty confusing! So now I park the two seemingly lest important things, and just concentrate on the most important. And I have to say it helps.
There is nothing more amazing than your lifelong partner and soul mate telling you how special you are to them.
I’ve known this special guy for 41 years. This year we will have been married for 30 years. He hasn’t always been mine, and I haven’t always been his. But from the beginning we have had a special kind of relationship. He was better than your brother, better than your best friend. As a group we shared life and laughter, and when the time came he shared my tears and finally after a long time – my love.
I’d made a bad mistake and chosen unwisely, but he waited patiently in the wings never imagining that one day I’d be free to love someone else. And when that time came – he was there to sweep my up in his arms, and be that person.
We always had this feeling we had been here before, been part of each other’s life. It wasn’t something we could explain, but we both felt the same thing. Perhaps we will never find the answer to that one – until next time. Perhaps that is the true meaning of a soul mate!
We have had good times and bad. But we have ridden them with a smile. And are armed and ready for what the rest of our lives together throw at us.
Happy Valentine’s Day to all the lovers out there.
That time of night when the bedroom is dark, but just light enough for you to get out of bed without banging your foot on the bed side table, or falling over the random pair of shoes you have left under the radiator.
Enough light for you to head down the stairs to the peace of the kitchen to make a sneaky cup of tea and toast.
What are you doing!!!!! It 4am.
It shouldn’t be any time to be creeping around the house. It should be the time you are snuggled up in bed – asleep. Not tonight though. You wake up for some unknown reason, and that’s it…..
If you were an author and writing a book about those romantic twilight hours when the world is asleep, but animals and young lovers are bight eyed and busy tailed, it would sound plausible. But I’m not an author. I’m not writing a book about the misty twilight hours. I’m writing about the night time- yes lets address this as it is. The middle of the night when the rest of the northern hemisphere should be asleep – and you are awake!
Shall we start this again?
That time of night when the bedroom is dark, and cold. The light from outside fights its way through the blinds, and as you turn around in bed for the 10th time at 3.30am it shines right in your eyes! Your husband’s phone has pinged a few times, and when you unplug your phone from the charger a WhatsApp message comes up and lights up the whole room. It’s from your son telling you he has landed in some far off place at 2.30! No wonder you are awake – it’s like Piccadilly Circus.
That’s its then. The ‘thought worm’ enters your head – well to be honest he is actually always there, but he loves the twilight hours! There is absolutely no chance of any sleep now.