Families, Family, genealogy, history, Inspiration, Spirt and soul

Remembering Family.

I’m seriously into genealogy. I was adopted, but I know who my birth mother is, I met her a few times before she died at the end of the 1990’s. My father is a mystery – so far.

Last year I took my DNA with Ancestry, and when the results came back, a whole new world literally opened up before my eyes! I had connections – all be it distant – in America, Germany, Israel, Australia  and New Zealand. My continued search is another story that I’m sure you will hear about.

Why I’m writing this today, because in the United Kingdom Sunday 27th January 2019 is Holocaust Memorial Day. For many of us, this is something that we have read about, learned in school, and have seen at least one of the films that has been made about the events that happened in WW2.

I opened up an email a few weeks ago from My Heritage. a genealogy site that allows you like many others to build up your family history.  Quite an innocuous email, names I didn’t recognise. I clicked on one of the names to see if the snippet of information could lead me to some other information I already held.  It said the girl had died in a concentration camp. When I looked at her parents, it said the same. This information was like a  jab in my heart. These unknown people who were in my history somewhere had died in the most terrible way I could imagine!

Of course I never knew them, and I have no idea how they are related to me. It was only up until a year ago that I imagined I could be feeling this wave of sadness today.

Our history is so much more than a birth, marriage and a death certificate isn’t it?

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Grand National

I think that they should just let the horses run the Grand National without a jockey on their back. They seem to do so much better on their own! The ride might take longer, they still run at a pace. But riderless

horses don’t seem to fall. Isn’t that what we want?

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I’m not sure if I want to come back.

I’ve taken a break from Social Media, I’ve been away for a few months. A self imposed exile, to see how it would feel. So, apart from my blog being shared on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter- I can say with honesty that I have not been on there to check any posts. Not even to see my blog posts.

For the first few days I was lost. I didn’t know what to do with myself ! And to be honest it hasn’t got any better. My phone is with me at all times. Just in case my sons text me..stupid I know. They have their own lives – if it was urgent they would ring! So I pick up the phone and read my meagre emails, and read and re-read the newspaper, till I can recite the stories!

I’ve missed a lot. Pre arranged facegroup things, walking groups, writing events. Family happenings, family pictures…updates of grandchildren.

Then tonight I gave in and looked at Facebook. And it hit me! I’m not important. Life goes on without me, the lives of others don’t stop because I don’t see what they are doing, or because I can’t share in their happiness. And I wouldn’t want it to. But the hard thing is – it hurts! For those 5 min I came back, it wasn’t fun anymore.

So I’m staying away for a bit longer, until I can work out in my own head and heart how to manage it. I can see how social media is effecting young people, that ‘apparent’ feeling of rejection for those less resilient to deal with – is hard to overcome.

But overcome it we must, and work out another way of being part of the bigger picture.

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